TV

"Oh, TV's ruining our younger generation, they'd rather watch Coronation street and have sex than get an education! Won't somebody help us?!" Shut up, Daily Mail.

A word on television.
I used to be a real addict to the TV, blindly following one show and then another, caught up in the lives (or jokes, in the case of one of my many favoured panel shows) of others.
Television has got a bad name from 95% of the crap they put on it nowadays, anyone with Sky I urge you now to delve into the lower recesses of the menu and watch Psychic TV. The stuff melts your brain, it truly does. Channel 4 STILL expect us to watch Big Brother. A show so monotonous and filled with the worst people you'd ever wish to encounter, it's a shame really, it could have been such an interesting idea. But, as always the show's producers decided to go for people with tits and people likely to get into a fight to entertain the morons with free time EVERY night at 9pm. This shit doesn't deserve to be on television when there's so much other great stuff going on.

Nowadays I usually only follow one show at a time. It lets me follow everything and know what's going on. When you think about it, TV shows take an extraordinary amount of skilled storytelling. More than a film you might say. Yes, The Dark Knight lasted 2 1/2 hours. There's rumours of a 3-hour Watchmen film being released.
Child's play. Season 1 of The Sopranos lasted 21 hours. The level of complexity and detail in that story is immense. It's currently my show of the week. I'm just about to start on Season 2. How clever is it, that a show centered around a murdering, thieving mobster who cheats on his wife, lies to his family and hides guns in his mother's retirement home can get you on his side? It's fucking clever screenwriting and it's a shame I didn't follow the show when it was around. Oh well, five seasons to go.

Another special mention of mine goes to The Office.
Well, yeah. You all think, it's fantastic.
Fuck Ricky Gervais. I'm talking the US version. It's funny, compelling and dare I say it, has better supporting characters. It's truly admirable how a show developed directly from a british sitcom can work on it;s own terms while still staying faithful to the spirit of the UK version. I love it, and you should too.
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Review: Imaginary Heroes

Okay i've got about 1 day until i leave for Reading festival and i thought i should leave a review on here, and this is for a film that i've been meaning to review ever since i saw it and it's a review of a film that was reccomended to me (and i always love to review those ones the most) so here we go:

Oh, firstly, i'm crap with punctuation, but i'm working on it.


Imaginary Heroes begins to tell the tale of a suburban family who's lives have gone to the worst after the suicide of one of the sons in the family, everyone in the family blames it on themselves and they get up to many ill deeds afterwards in order to attempt to keep some sort of sense of order in their family and support their sadness.

Imaginary Heroes starts off well, it has an interesting idea and that something like a suicide would happen in a normal suburban town is quite major and heavy to take on but neverthless it's interesting to see how everything is going to go, that is until it starts to unveil a lot more to the audience and more problems between the family seem to erupt and it's because of this that there is never enough focus on one issue to make it interesting.

With a mass of ethical issues shown in this film it's hard to simply ask any ethical question at all that could bring up any reason for the audience to be stunned or at least think about what the films message is. The main problem is this film appears to have no single idea, it's extremely hard to work out whether it's a chance for every single ethical issue to be shoved into one to try and make an 'Ethic Movie' or whether it's a chance to see some amazing acting by challenging the problems that could happen in life.
Maybe this film should stick to asking the question of 'How is it that a family falls completely apart?' and for some very short moments in the film it does do that, but it is hardly consistent and justs adds another issue which will not be brought out and explained properly to make this a good film.

I found watching this film was like watching 'Imaginary News' wherein it broadcasts it's problems to the world and goes on telling people about them but never explains them and says because lots of bad things are happening you should be stunned, without knowing why, well if you're going to make a film which puts this much issues on it's plate you're going to need a lot of Why!

Though the reasons for everything in the film are because of the sons suicide it never stops to say "this happened because of the sons suicide" it just assumes the audience will be able to take a massive leap and somehow work a tangled link between two completely different ethical problems, this could be a good thing, but they've completely forgotten that the audience like to be told why, it adds a layer of interest to a film.

There is never a moment of just plain grief in this film, for some reason grief has to be shown by drugs and lying instead of sadness and crying, and it's because of this that it makes this film extremely unconvincing.


I was impressed by Jeff Daniels performance in this film, and it is the lack of his character that allows him to impress the audience on a higher level than everyone else in the film, he is portrayed as being a guilt carrying father who eventually must do all he can to keep his family together, he portrays what are some of the best scenes in this film and make them near enjoyable because of his acting, but it is nowhere near enough to keep this film together.

I honestly think i would of enjoyed Imaginary Heroes if it was a film that questioned peoples beliefs on suicide and peoples reactions to it but only one scene does this, though it's an okay scene it doesn't support the film enough to give it enough of a foundation to support the heavyness of it's multiple ethical questions and the whole films comes towering down and creates a mess of ethical issues thrown around.

Imaginary Heroes is like going to a drug dealer with no money, you'll get to have a look at the good stuff but never get even close to touching upon it or experiencing it in full.

Rating: ***/*****
What it needs: to stick with one idea and work upon it
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Review: Muse In Dublin

Full story, pictures and review coming soon.

Setlist:
1. Map Of The Problematique + Riff
2. Supermassive Black Hole
3. Dead Star - With lasers!
4. New Born
5. Hysteria
6. Butterflies and Hurricanes
7. Feeling Good
8. Space Dementia
9. Drum and Bass (aka Bass Jam aka Osaka Riff)
10. Invincible
11. Bliss extended
12. Time Is Running Out
13. Stockholm Syndrome + Riff + Riff
14. Take A Bow + lasers
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Blackout - scheduled but not played due to wind
15. Starlight
16. Plug In Baby + Balloons
------------------------------------
17. Man With A Harmonica
18. Knights Of Cydonia
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Summer

I'd like to thank Chris for his reviews while I've been away, I'd been meaning to review Hancock for a while and his Pan's Labyrinth review was nothing short of amazing. I'd like to take the time to say Del Torro has to be my favourite filmaker of the moment, Hellboy II is an incredible work (review coming soon!) and we can only begin to imagine where he'll take The Hobbit.

Look out for me in the upcoming issues of Sky Sports magazines, I've got a few articles in the September and October releases.

I'm also going to review some concerts! Just for a bit of fun. I was at Muse's gig in Dublin on Wednesday and will be going to V Festival tomorrow (where Muse are headlining)

See you all on the other side of V, I hereby promise reviews of Muse In Dublin, V Festival and Hellboy II by the end of the week. I'll also talk TV, why chick flicks aren't all that bad and why Chicken Run is overrated.

TTFN

Tom.
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Review: Pans Labyrinth

Pans Labyrinth tells the story of Ofelia, growing up after the Spanish Civil war. Ofelia and her pregnant mother go and stay with Captain Vidal at his mountain post where he and his soldiers are fighting the rebels. Captain Vidal is Ofelia's step father and the father of Ofelia's mother's soon to arrive baby. Ofelia finds a scapegoat from the horrors of the real world like her mother being very ill because of her pregnancy, her step father being horrid and her father having died when she was very young, the scapegoat she finds is in her fairytales and it is because of these her imagination conjurs up a world in which she must complete three tasks set by a mysterious faun and fairies appear in the form of winged stick insects.
Whilst Ofelia's imagination takes her far on completing her three tasks there is a war going on and Captain Vidal is shown to be a maniacal and very powerful killjoy, Ofelia's mother's condition worsens, the Captain's Mistress Mercedes develops a relationship with Ofelia and helps out the rebels with the help of the Doctor.

Pans Labyrinth is a visual wonder which primarily deals with fear shown with a fantasy element, and it goes deep into the subject of Ofelia's fear of her current condition and displaying this with the fantasy element creates a very touching story which will excite, intrique, thrill and electrify (not literally of course).

There is nothing about Pans Labyrinth that would stop it becoming epic, it sets itself a high limit and doesn't waste time or deviate to get to that limit of greatness and it gets there, by not wasting any time with making scenes that have no meaning or do not help to develop the characters. Pans Labyrinth is like a film that has been rushed because it features all the necessary stuff but a film that has been rushed by Adonises of film.

Pans Labyrinth displays how deep the fantasy genre can be and it does this perfectly with an extremely fitting location and brilliant portrayal of how dark and frightening the imagination of Ofelia is when brought up around such terrifying circumstances.

Beneath an exceptionally well written script and visual brilliance this film displays phenomenal performances from it's cast especially from Sergi López i Ayats who played Captain Vidal, he gives a raw and chilling and most of all ultimately believeable portrayal of his character that would convince any audience that this man is pure evil.....in a box!
Maribel Verdú also pulls off an Oscar worthy performance as Mercedes who creates a brilliant contrast to Captain Vidal and acts as a hope button for Ofelia, her performance captures beautifully the sadness experienced and her hope longing personality in a way that makes her character strangely loveable as the beacon of hope throughout the film.

Pans Labyrinth would be an immense film even if it was just an hour and a half of reading the script, but either way every other single part of the film, from it's acting, direction and visualization turn it into a ridiculously brilliant epic!


Rating: *****/*****
Why see it? Because there is nothing wrong with it, it is perfect!

Sequel?: the idea of a sequel for this film is extremely frightening and I'd be dissapointed by a sequel even if the sequel was amazing, plus there is no possible way for there to be a sequel.

Best bit: I love it all, but i'll probably say Mercedes with her kitchen knife about three quarters of the way into the film
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Review: Hancock

Hancock begins by telling the story of John Hancock (Will Smith), a superhero whose deeds to society are not appreciated because of the destruction he causes in order to do the right thing and how he becomes accepted by the public with the help of Ray (Jason Bateman), but half way through the film changes it's plot and becomes a lot more complicated and unnecessary.

Hancock starts out as a very good film, and the first half of the plot is a good idea with lots of potential, unfortunately this potential is not unleashed and makes the film seem to cry out for acceptance of being a landmark film (much like the character of Hancock who also secretly cries out for acceptance). But in no way is this a landmark film, it's enjoyable to say the most but because of a massive change in the plot and because the film combines a lot of genre's it never really knows where it's going, only where it started.
Watching this film it seems more of just a good idea that the audience should like because it combines a lot of popular modern culture, everyone loves Will Smith and superhero films are big at the moment, surely combined they should do excellently.........Unfortunately not, maybe if Hancock stuck with being an idea of a superhero who is hated and just made a consistent story to go with that people would love it for it's idea, but to see a good idea be spoilt by a mix of comedy,action,romance, thriller and fantasy does not work.

The second half of Hancock decides that the film has to go somewhere, and it does go somewhere it just trails off in many different direction to try and reach the ultimate goal of Epic but gets completely lost on it's search for it.

One thing i did enjoy about Hancock is that Jason Bateman put on a good performance and was by far the best actor in the movie, i could never call Jason Bateman's performance monumental in any way at all, but this is partly because the character he played was very average with no room to show off a monumental performance but enough room to show off that Jason Bateman can indeed act. Will Smith on the other hand pulled off a dismal performance, and there were not much points that i believed that Hancock was an alcoholic bum with superpowers, which may sound like a hard part to play but in truth is exceedingly easy. Will Smiths acting did help to turn what could of been a great idea into a misled flop.

With a lack of Jason Batemans character Ray, and Will Smiths poor performance the second half of the film appears dull, and seeing as the film has already completed what it's initial plot was it's very easy to lose interest and feel like you're sitting through an hours worth of deleted scenes.

Hancock tries so hard not to be an utterly terrible film that it takes no risks and winds up being dull and average and if you're going to watch Hancock, make sure you enjoy the first half because the rest of it loses it's humour and ruins what was a good idea and turns it into a lost script which puts too much on it's plate but doesn't even attempt to deliver that plate!



Rating: ***/*****
Reason to watch it: So that you can turn it off half way through
What it needs: Consistency, to take it's initial idea and keep it going without losing audience interest
Sequel: Never, why grind an idea with lots of potential down even more so that it loses all hope of being any good
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What were they thinking 2

Shark Boy and Lava Girl????!!!!???
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?????!!!!!????

The plot of shark boy is literally that he was raised by sharks and for no reason grew gills and apparently the sharks told him how to fight.....oh and he grew a fin too from being around sharks so much.
WORST FILM EVER!!!!!!!


Oh and also, another thing which really emphasises the question "what the hell were they thinking":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beverly_Hills_Chihuahua


THATS NOT EVEN A PROPER FILM IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Review: Wall-E

Well here is my take on the film Wall-E

Wall-E tells the story of a robot on earth whose sole job is to clear up earths rubbish, unfortunately he is the last thing on earth because all the humans left because earth became unliveable after a huge increase in fumes and rubbish, Wall-E has been stuck on earth for around 700 years and eventually becomes curious and lonely being the only robot left on earth with everything at his desposal, he then meets the robot EVE who comes to earth in search of plants as a probe droid, he falls in love with her almost instantly and tries to win her heart on an intergalactic mission which entails in humanity's return to earth.

Wall-E starts with a fantastic scene featuring Wall-E cleaning up the earth and searching through the rubbish for any remenant of earth that he takes a shine to, this scene is both visually stunning and very humorous and it is impossible to not at all feel compassion for this lonesome robot. When EVE arrives the mood changes slightly but it still runs along very well by building Wall-E's character and then showing how this films plot will esculate into an intergalactic romp of romance and comedy. Scenes with EVE on earth are both funny and especially heart wrenching when we see Wall-E trying to win the heart of this flying iPod with lasers!

What really makes this film is how well the two main characters are portrayed and how much compassion is felt for them, especially Wall-E, the build up that is given to Wall-E winning the heart of EVE is fantastic and raises lots of points about love that other films have failed in doing so. This film is very wise in waiting quite a long time until EVE ends up falling in love with Wall-E, but it shows the hardships of it as Wall-E appears to annoy EVE accidentally on multiple occassions by faults which are not his own. Combining a perfectly written love story with one of the cutest characters of all time makes a perfect blend of compassion for this Sardine can on tire tracks.

Wall-E's main strength is that it is undeniably loveable as a film, but it has some certain weaknesses for instance the start of the film is the only part of the film that fully embraces the humour of the entire film, and to have this lack of consistency does weaken the flow of the film.
Once aboard the Axiom (the ship in which the rest of humanity are living) there is a lot less interraction between Wall-E and EVE and perhaps too much focus is on the captain of the ship, and it seems like the films is trying too hard to be a space age film aswell as a love story because of this, this is a foolish mistake to make for a film that has shown that has prooven to be deeply emotional and loving, the more space age stuff feels a bit like filler so that the glorious end scene can be built up even more, though it does seem like filler it is still good filler and does keep some consistent humour.
The film does ask the question half way through "what are Pixar trying to do here?" seeing as the audience feel that they are in for a beautiful love story....in Space! but changing that makes the film seem a tad like 2 films merged into one, which is why the second half probably loses audiences attention compared to the first half, but not enough to stop the audiences compassion for our lovesick sardine can.
Though the second half of the film does help to show that Wall-E and EVE are possibly the most human things on board the ship, and that in a world that there is no love 2 very unlikely characters can experience it, which adds a brilliant touch of beauty to an already extremely beautiful plot.

Luckily Pixar did not go down the road of thinking that a film which is visually amazing will automatically do well and they have created an excellent plot and used it's visual excellence to really bring that alive.

My view of Wall-E as i left was it is the greatest portrayal of love in a film ever but the problem is it needs something more than that if it attempts to be something more, which as a Pixar film it is doomed to have to be funny, and it is, just not enough.


Rating: ****/*****
Reasons to watch it: Greatest representation of love in a film, ever, Wall-E is undeniably cute.
Best Bit: When Wall-E shows EVE his various sacred pieces of rubbish in his quaint home
What it needs: More humour
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