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Review.
Watchmen.

I’ve known for a while now I would find this film very hard to review. Last summer, after truly realising the hype this film was generated, I bought and read the graphic novel of Watchmen. And, like many, I fell in love with it. The story is bold, big and uncompromising. each character is so broken and so human it’s not hard to see why this is considered one of the best pieces of superhero fiction the world has ever seen.

Of course, with a story as big and as bold as this, there will be compromises. Regardless, I sat down and watched “Watchmen” with admittedly high expectations.

First of all, it’s long. I mean it’s really quite a long film. So why didn’t I go to the toilet once? Why didn’t I once check the time? Because the story is awesome. There’s a high probability I may have enjoyed it more because I’d read the book, and really was just looking forward to seeing how it translated into my favourite of the mediums. Don’t, for the love of God, try to pin down the genre of this film. It’s not anything, Something like this can’t. Sure, you could throw labels at the wall. Try “superhero, action, Sci-Fi, mystery, thriller, drama” for a start. Enjoy the film as you see it. A film like this will be RUINED by the wrong preconception, no matter how small and it’ll serve you well to try to open your mind as much as possible before the trailers end.

As a side note, the trailers before Watchmen ALL kicked relatively large amounts of ass. We got trailers for “Terminator, Salvation” (trailer rating: ***), “Star Trek” (****), “Wolverine” (***) and “Lesbian Vampire Killers” (***).

Something I had absolutely no quibbles with was the quality of the casting/acting. Each of the “Watchmen” (Or Crimebusters if you’re a purist) were brilliantly and faithfully brought to life by their thespian counterparts. Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach dominated each scene he was in, not just behind the trademark inkblot mask but in his unmasked scenes as well. By far the most unflinching and thorough portrayal of any of the Watchmen. Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II did a fine job, despite what I view as unfairly harsh criticism of her role in the film. Billy Crudup was Dr. Manhattan did exactly right by his character. The soothing voice being the only thing he can 100% accredited to, as his character was more or less exclusively computer-generated. Nevertheless, he nailed everything up to him. The body language, those deep, true eyes. It must be hard to act so well when you know most of the time people are going to be staring at your modest blue CGI wang (yes, really). Jeffrey Dean Morgan, arguably the most established actor in the main cast was perfect as the comedian. I’m so happy they didn’t brush his dirty history under the rug. Feminists in the audience won’t be happy, though. I warned you. Matthew Goode’s Adrian Veidt even manages to make an impact, despite the actual comic character not doing so well. I really liked Veidt’s subtle German accent that strategically disappears during press conferences. Finally, Patrick Wilson, who’s 2004 drama “Hard Candy” I absolutely LOVE as Nite Owl. He was terrific as the bloated, impotent ex-crime-fighter. There’s something very 80’s about the way he carries himself generally. All-round perfect choices.

There are also little treats for those who have been reading the comic and/or have been following the press the film is receiving. Something that caught my eye was Veidt’s machine or: S.Q.U.I.D. (geddit, Watchmen fans?). Look out for as many little things as you can find in the film, makes for a fun little game.

I suppose, given the extraordinary depth the story gives, I can let you off a huge review. So I’ll give you a rundown of the things I thought worked and a few that didn’t.

So, Tom. What was good?
I’ll tell you shall I?
The action. The much-debated slo-mo is barely noticeable in the fight scenes. None are overlong, all exquisitely detailed and violent. Real treats.
The ending. Fuck the s***d. The cinematic ending proved to be more relevant, and added a new, more conclusive reason for Dr. Manhattan’s definitive departure.
It’s so pretty.
The Comedian killed JFK? Well, I never...
The relevance. Sure, it’s set in the 80’s but we can’t help but draw certain parallels with the world we live in today. Keep your eyes peeled for a quick, subtle dig at Bush.
Malin Ackerman getting sexy. don’t judge me for saying that until you see for yourself. It was awesome.
It really satisfied me. As a fan of the comic, that’s a big feat.

Aand, what was a bit crappy?
Well, for one the soundtrack. As a friend pointed out, the comic did so well without one, what was the need to add a bit of MCR (Yes, REALLY) into it?

I’m also pretty annoyed at some of the smaller changes that seemed to be put in for more immediate effect. I won’t spoil anything. I also would have liked to see a bit more of Rorschach’s psychiatrist, arguably the best secondary character in the comic.

All in all, it’s not entirely the Watchmen film I would have made. But now that this one’s here, I don’t want to change a thing. It’s savage, gripping and very, very good.

Rating: ****
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