Review: The Happening

The Film
Rating: -/*****
Sequel: Would be a miracle
Best bit: The Dark Knight Trailer

The Experience
Company: 4 very fun people willing to hate the film as much as me. *****/*****
Trailers: Same old Dark Knight trailer, gets better every time. New X Files film looks great and I haven't even watched the series. Hancock is already wearing thin and I haven't even seen it yet, ****/*****
Food: I armed myself with only some M&Ms and stole drinks from Josh, **/*****
Seating: got ourselves in a good position, other cinema goers were respectably quiet as there was only 2 of them ****/*****

Special mention should go to the new Orange advert, funniest one in a while. Shame they tend to only knock one out every half-a-year.

The Review:
Well, the Happening was awful, we've gathered that. But WOW! What a cinema experience! Thanks to Orange Wednesdays I went to the film for free, given the quality of the film I wouldn't have it any other way. However, I was short on cash so I had only a hanfful or M&Ms for the main event.

The screen was a very good size and as it was an afternoon showing we had only the company of 2 other movie-goers. The seats as always were terrifically comfortable but Rob's chair was a bit squeaky. Shame on you, Empire Cinemas. Rob also seemed to think his numerous pops at Ellen Page's young-looking features were funny, but I begged to differ. Shouting "Run Ellen, Run!" at the screen as an 8 year old actress sprints through a field in the film was however, very funny contextually.

The trailers were a real highlight for me as always. Opening this time with a very well-sized trailer for the new X Files film "I Want To Believe" Casting Billy Connolly as a Priest may sound like a HUGE mistake for the biggest thriller film in 2008 but it works surprisingly well. I can't wait to see the film in all honesty and I think I've seen maybe ten minutes of one episode in my entire life. I'm no stranger to the Dark Knight Trailer either (The second one that was released with the Joker reveal in the prison cell) but it still gets me every time. I've been waiting 6 months to see this damn film. I hope people don't shy away from giving it excellent reviews for fear people will believe it's a sympathy vote for Heath Ledger. The man looks like he's found the best role of his career. The Hancock trailer is beginning to aggravate me now, it was such a good idea but the story looks bland and the humour mediocre. Also revealing that Hancock fights another superhero in the trailer itself is a pretty huge mistake as it seems that would be a fantastic plot point.

All in all it was a great outing for the day before my birthday. Spur-of-the-moment decisions always end up the best and I'm happy I decided to go to the cinema. I can't reiterate enough what a let-down the film was, however. Shame on you, Shyamalan, shame on you.
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Review: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Having only seen the first half it's not right to pass judgement just yet I'm afraid, but rest assured it's so far got itself a very respectable ***+.
It's come together very nicely, the CGI is fantastic and it's a very entertaining storyline. No real threat in the baddies though, and very little blood in the fight scenes. Plus the dialogue is a little ropey.

Rating: (so far) ***+/*****
Sequel: Yes
Best bit: (So far): That mouse with the sword. Fluffy yet deadly.
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The birthday post

Ahh happy birthday to me.
And how else to celebrate than giving my first no-star rating to a film I saw yesterday.
The Happening: -/*****
That's right, not one star, not one single measly star. I've also decided that in the event of a no-star film being seen, I will review the experience in everything BUT the film. So, to summarise, I will be reviewing the cinema food, the queues, the seats and the view. Obviously in an ironic and hopefully humorous manner. Anyway, I'll save my review of this poorly-acted
shambles of a D-Movie until later.

I thought at it's my birthday, I'd go for a little self absorption and give a rundown of my top 10 favourite films ever.

10. Liar Liar ****+
9. Ace Ventura 2 ****+
8. Donnie Darko ****+
7. Superbad ****
6. Hot Fuzz ****+
5. Airplane ****
4. Anchorman ****
3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles ****+
2. Shaun Of The Dead *****
1. V For Vendetta *****

8/10 of those are comedies.
What can I say? I appreciate humour.

Update: 8th April.
Wow, reviewing films really does make you change fast. What was I thinking putting Anchorman and Superbad in my top 10?
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Perfection

There are a few things in this world I will never badmouth, insult or find fault in.
Anything in this blog to do with these things will be represented with great bias and prejudice and I don't care.
These things are:
Ellen Page, the world's most perfect woman.
Mark Kermode, the world's greatest film reviewer.
Typhlosion
and V for Vendetta.

Any hateful or otherwise negative reaction to these things will be greeted with great hostility and I may even curse at you.

Thanks for listening.
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Welcome Chris!

Chris Bone will now be a secondary contributor to the site.
He will start off by reviewing Horton Hears A Who, as he is convinced it deserves 4 stars.

Good luck and welcome, Chris!

Things I will do for the blog today:
-Sweeney Todd Review
- Finish watching Futurama: TBWABB
That is all, I'm a very busy man.
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Review: Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Having now seen Sweeney Todd three times in two days, I felt I should write a review while the film is still fresh in my mind.

I had been very excited about this film having heard of it back in the Summer of 2007, I'm a big Tim Burton fan and thought a macabre, murderous musical was right up his street. However I found myself disappointed come February when I found out it had been rated 18, I still never have seen it in it's large-screen glory.

Sweeney Todd tells the tale of Benjamin Barker, a barber who was imprisoned falsely and had his wife and child taken from him by an evil judge (Alan Rickman), back in London 15 years later, he has his eyes set on nothing but revenge, despite Mrs. Lovett's (Helena Bonham-Carter) best efforts.

What can be said for it? It's a fantastic film, Johnny Depp's untrained, grizzly voice fits his character perfectly, Sweeney is without doubt the most interesting character in the entire film, it's fascinatingly tragic to see his character so fixated on the revenge, ignoring everyone else, this is fantastically portrayed in one particular song, where Sweeney sings a song to his razors about his friendship with them, singing over and clashing with Lovett's song describing her feelings for him.

The songs all in all are very well written and entertaining. The number of times the characters sing over one another makes for a really interesting and engaging way of performance, Alan Rickman in particular being surprisingly impressive as a singer.

The films is... bloody to say the least, there's plenty of gore as Sweeney slowly makes his way through half the village, slitting the throats of innocent men, blood sprays in all directions, it's Kill Bill for arthouse lovers. What's so good about the violence in the film is that it's ironic, this is no slasher horror film, it's a tragic psychological murder musical. Even more impressively is that the murders always keep their impact, after a montage of about eighteen throat slits, one may assume enough is enough, but the daths keep coming and become more and more climactic. In fact, the last 5 deaths in the film are quite possibly the most moving out of all, each more climactic than the last.

The one thing I'll say about this film that robs this film if it's all-time classic status is the genre confusion this film seems to have succumbed to. Only a very particular audience will want to watch a gore film that's also a musical, connoisseurs of each of these genres I find it hard to believe would appreciate the other fully as an art form.
But again, one could argue that the particular taste required to enjoy a film like this makes it all the more special, like you're being let in on something.

In conclusion, a fantastic film that entertains from start to finish. Wonderful music, grizzly deaths and some truly sad, sad moments.

Rating: ****+/*****
Sequel: It's highly, highly unlikely, though considering the end of the film, I'd like to see what happens next.
Favourite moment: Sweeney unsuspectingly slashes the throat of his wife not knowing who she is
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Review: The Incredible Hulk

And so onto the first review.

The Incredible Hulk has now been out for a week, the half-sequel to Ang Lee's 2003 film, "Hulk" I say half sequel, as Marvel have essentially rebooted the franchise with this film just five years on. Although this is not an origin story, it is retold during the opening credits. Marvel want to start this franchise with a clean slate on their terms. And it works... mostly.

The Incredible Hulk tells the story of Bruce Banner, approximately one year on from the Hulk's creation. He lives in a slum in Portugal, hiding from the military who want to turn him into a weapon. He searches the world for a cure for his big green problem, and regularly collaborates with a mysterious stranger known as "Mr. Blue" over the internet, discussing how he can cure himself. Meanwhile, The baddie army guys are on their way to reclaim the Hulk...

Sounds like fun right? It really is. There's plenty of Hulk-stomping, heart-stopping "woah!" moments. But it doesn't seem to go anywhere. Tim Roth playes Emil Blonsky, an egotistical soldier jealous of the Hulk's power. The somewhat forced dialogue and confused English (?) accent from him removes the element of threat from his character, and the cheesy, predictable, one-liners from his antagonistic CGI alter-ego are equally as painful.

Essentially this film is Iron man, but with worse characters, there's no one character who stands out and really makes you care. The action sequences, although well thought out are a little anticlimactic, particularly the final one. The CGI is ropey, but that can be forgiven, this entire film has something of a B-Movie vibe about it, not necessarily a bad thing, but when there's "Incredible" in the title, it just reminds us of what we're missing.

However, the film has merits, very strong, appealing merits. Instead of the usual formula for Hulk: anger + bruce = big green monster, the formula has been slightly rewritten, now Bruce transforms whenever his heart rate reaches or exceeds 200. This allows for more freedom of the scenarios in which the Hulk can be brought out, and adds a sensitive, cautious side to Banner. The fans of the comic will be happy too, with nods towards The Leader ( a classic marvel villain) and an upcoming Avengers film, with a cameo that just about tops the reveal at the end of Iron Man.

All in all, this film was very enjoyable, despite the pitfalls that will no doubt be rectified in the sequel (it looks likely), The Incredible Hulk smashes it's way to a really good fun, decent film.

Rating: ***/*****
Sequel: Almost definitely
Best bit: I'm torn between the last scene and the birth of The Leader, let's say both.
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The week ahead

This week I will address:
- My take on 2008 in films so far.
- Films I'm looking forward to.
- Reviews of films seen in 2008, this will most likely take a while, but here are the ones I'll need to do:

-The Happening -

-The Incredible Hulk ***
- Indiana Jones IV ***
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall ****
- Cloverfield ****
- Sweeney Todd ****
- Jumper *
- Juno ***
- Speed Racer / Jack II ***
- Iron Man ***+
- Horton Hears A Who ***
(Chris' rating ****)
- Vantage Point / Jack: The Movie **
- Run, Fatboy, Run ****

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Day one

And so it begins!

I guess it would be polite to outline exactly what I want to achieve with this here film blog.
In a nutshell, I enjoy writing, and I enjoy films. what a charming collaboration of these elements i hope my blog can become.

Over the next few months I will do my best to update this site regularly. I will be reviewing films I've seen both in the cinema and on DVD and indeed through other methods should they present themselves.
As well as this I'll most lilkely indulge myself with writing about films I've seen before that I've enjoyed, and possibly even branch (concisely, this is a films blog) into other areas of media.

To be honest, I'll take it as it comes and write what I feel like, within reason.

I hope you enjoy reading, feel free to let me know if there's a particular subject you want discussing and I will do my very best.
Thank you very much and enjoy.

Tom.
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