Happy Holidays!

I'm leaving tomorrow for a fun 3 weeks of fun.

29th June - 3rd July: I will be at Center Parcs
4th - 11th: I'll be in Greece
12th - 18th: I'm rolling on down to Devon.

This means I'll be literally without any way of writing reviews for you all for even one second as I'm going this way and that. The best way to find out what I'm up to and what I think of the films I watch (I'll be using a LOT of DVDs in Greece. I hate the sun) is through my personal twitter, http://twitter.com/tommphilip

Until then, everybody, goodbye and enjoy your summer.

Tom.
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Review: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Alright, let’s get a few things sorted before this all kicks off. Transformers was a damn good film. It gave us what we wanted: Robots turning into cars and fighting and by god, they gave us it by the barrelfull. My original niggles stemmed from the fight scenes being too long and confusing. It’s much harder to tell where one robot begins and one ends when they’re in a ruck. Also, the dialogue was cheesy and pretty stilted. Saying that, Transformers, unlike many Summer blockbusters, knew its place. The fact it was so self-aware of its own ridiculousness allowed cynics like me to relax and go along with it. The humour was just right in the first, from the fantastic Bernie Mac’s used car salesman character to Shia’s easy, accessible but nonetheless geeky protagonist. It was the Goldilocks of 2007, everything was just right.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen was an almost guaranteed success from the word go. There was only one way to make people like it more than the original and that was more robots, right? Right! For the months leading up to it I looked around online for the lowdown on the new robots we were going to be seeing. New additions to the Autobots lineup looked amazing as ever with Arcee (A pink motorbike), Jolt (A blue electric car, has electro-whips as weapons) and Sideswipe (Some badass supercar with 2 swords for arms) joining the team. On the Decepticon side, fan favourites Soundwave (A sattelite) and Ravage (A mechanical jaguary.. type.. thing) were set to join as well as the “Constructicons” (7 construction vehicles that combine to form Devastator). If that wasn’t enough, Megatron and Starscream were back as well as a NEW big bad baddie, The Fallen.

SO, yeah, sounds pretty terrific. There was one problem: none of the exciting new characters got ANY kind of screentime or lines in the ENTIRE 147 (far too long) minute film. Arcee and her 2 other friends (also motorbikes) got one, maybe 2 lines in the entire thing and featured so little it was infuriating. The motorbike Autobots were genuinely fascinating machines and we were offered no action with them whatsoever. The same can be said for Jolt, who speaks not once in the entire feature and is only seen briefly fighting in the background of the final showdown. Sideswipe got a little more attention and for that I’m thankful. I mean, what’s the point of introducing these truly amazing new characters if we never see them do anything? “Well, fear not” the producers told us, “How about... these guys?!” and with that, The Twins were born. The Twins, or Skids and Mudflap are possibly the most intensely and horrifically irritating characters to have ever been brought into the Transformers universe. It is baffling to me that, not only were they ever introduced into the film at all, but that the screentime they got was probably more than Megatron, Bumblebee or even Optimus Prime.

The Decepticon side of things wasn’t all that great either. In fact, they had the exact same trouble as the Autobots: Too many cool robots being boring, too many annoying robots being all too prominent. The aforementioned fan-favourite Soundwave (who won a poll on which Transformer they’d most like to see in the sequel) took up the duties as a secretary. Never once transforming into his robot form, never once descending to earth, Soundwave pretty much floated about and, yeah, sent memos to the Decepticons. Thrilling. And The Fallen? The mysterious, huge, ancient bad guy who so badly wants revenge for something or other (still not quite sure what it was...)? Yeah? He’s in it for about... 10 minutes. He bums around Cybertron most of the film, seemingly active and then just... flies down to earth on a whim. He was fine and dandy THE WHOLE TIME which completely negates the impact of the prophecy a Decepticon early in the film imparted as its dying words: “The Fallen shall rise again”. Okay then, baddie, so what you were saying really was: “The Fallen never really fell, but sooner or later he’s going to be bothered to come down to earth and kick some ass”. The new “little guy” Decepticon, Wheelie, is not worth a mention whatsoever. He’s that awful.

Most of this review has been about the robots themselves. Then again, that’s what the films is mostly about. Plot and characters come second to the cool robots and that’s the philosophy they stuck to and made work in the first one. The problems with the second are obvious: Firstly, it’s trying far too hard to be an all-encompassing epic. This second film suddenly throws us into ancient Transformers mythology, with adventures going on all around the globe which really does stall the flow of the narrative, even one as flimsy as the Transformers one.

Secondly, to balance out all this new dramatic stuff, it seems some completely inappropriate and plain bizarre humour has been shoehorned in. It really was quite baffling watching Devastator, the 120ft mean machine crawling up a pyramid. I mean, we’re meant to be experiencing fear for the human race at this point before a swift camera swoop reveals that Devastator is in fact a male with 2 wrecking ball testicles. Classy. As well as this, Megan gets her leg humped by a tiny Transformer and Shia’s dogs and parents get it on. (Yes, now Shia has TWO dogs, that’s JUST how sequelly this sequel is)

To be honest, it’s just real messy. Moments which should have been game-changing and awe-inspiring like Optimus combining with Jetfire come off just OK but really anti-climactic, while almost all the easy charm of the two leads has fizzled out into one tiny ongoing device where neither wants to say “I love you”. It’s a good thing the fight scenes still rock (although god help me if I have to describe one) and there’s enough classic 2007 stuff to be brought back to the table.

**
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Now that exams are over

Time to DO something with my life.
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Musings - Episode 2

Musings: Episode 2

Sorry for the delay. I’d give you a proper reason but if I’m completely honest I just forgot.

Anyway, it’s that time of the year when awesome trailers for the Winter/Autumn start getting released. This episode’s awesomeness comes in the form of trailers for Guy Ritchie’s modern adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. Call me bias but Anything with Robert Downey Jr. is going to be f***king amazing. What REALLY looks good is the fact the trailer makes the film look pretty classy, dark AND funny in perfect measures. Who’s directing this again?
Watch The Trailer Here

Trailer number 2 is for The Time Traveler's Wife. Or, as it’s alternately titled: “This film will definitely make everyone cry.” I think we’re starting to see the awards contenders surfacing...
And That One Here

In other news, Moon is out and it looks incredibly incredible. I’ve got a real soft spot for crazy mind-bending sci-fi stuff and early hype promises my intrigue will be satisfied to no end. Also, It’s got Kevin Spacey. Boo-Yah.

A Lot of good news about, let’s counter that with the news UP ISN’T COMING OUT UNTIL OCTOBER. I know i moaned about this last time but I’m still annoyed and baffled. Anyone want to donate money for tickets to the states? I mean, what part of this release strategy ISN’T going to make everyone want to pirate it?

This time next week Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is released. I’m 90% sure the characters and plot and other “stuff” is just written around all the cool robots and fighting. It’s why I love it more than words can say.

I bought The Wrestler on DVD. It’s everything I remember it being and more. It’s a shame most people will never A. Buy it and B. Even less likely - watch the “making of” which features some of the most fascinating stuff I’ve ever seen. That Darren Aronofsky is a real hard-to-please kind of guy. WHo would have thought Mickey Rourke could ever mumble in an unsatisfactory manner? He Practically invented the mumble!

My Films of the moment are:
The Wrestler
Terminator Salvation
The Hangover
The Truman Show
Uncle Buck

Think of the above list as a kind of “life key” If you’ve seen all 5 then you’re either me or my soulmate. 4-3 means you’re a pretty stand-up kinda person. 2 is acceptable but only if you’re hot. 1 or none of the above and your soul is in imminent danger of bursting out of your body.

And that concludes another episode. Tune in next time when I’ll be talking about other things related to the world of film that happen to pop into my head during the half-hour I write this in.
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Review: Terminator Salvation

As terribly cliché as it would be of me to make some sort of “I’ll be back” pun, it was hard for any of us to believe Schwarzenegger, both in character and out of character, that the Terminator franchise would in any way return after the shambles that was Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. For a while it looked like that was the case. The story hadn’t nearly been told but the trilogy brought with it a sense of completion. Fastforward to 2007. Whisperings about Hollywood were predicting a return of the Terminator films. What brave, visionary director was going to take up the challenge, who was going to succeed in folling James Cameron’s shoes where Jonathan Mostow had failed?

McG is the man in question. No first name, barely a name at all. No vowels? Wow, this guy MUST be good if he’s pretentious enough to direct under such a name. What’s he made again? Oh.

McG has only directed 2 films before Terminator Salvation. Charlies Angels and Charlies Angels: Full Throttle. It looked like Terminator was going to be run into the ground with NO hope of resurrection this time. It was, in many people’s eyes, an immediate death sentence. Then, something amazing happened. The story was announced, pictures began leaking, the cast began expanding and before you knew it we were whipped into a frenzy promising us the darkest, most gripping Terminator film ever.

And was it? Well... not really. But it’s still pretty damn good. Terminator Salvation takes us into the future the first 3 films warned us about. The future everyone’s favourite T-800 was sent back from all those years ago to kill Sarah Connor. For the first time, we see what’s happened to the earth post-Judgement Day. It’s a mess. In Layman’s terms, robots have taken over the world, now a wastland. John Connor (Christian Bale) is leading a worldwide network of humans as the resistance against the machines. I’ve never been Bale’s biggest fan. He delivers what we’ve all come to expect. Charisma-free gruff dialogue and a lot of shouting, although nothing that can quite match the leaked behind-the-scenes f-bomb filled rant at the DP on-set. I mean, seriously, who WASN’T secretly hoping for, at some point in the film, the camera to nudge away, Bale drop character and lay into that poor guy in what’s probably the biggest, greatest blooper in recent cinema history.

Bale aside, the other actors fare better. Sam Worthington does an outstanding job as Marcus Wright. He’s energetic, cheeky and above all a great character. I would have liked a further, deeper look into his world as it really was quite arresting. The rest of the ensemble makes up a pretty solid background, although the film isn’t too interested in that. McG is eager and willing to give everybody what he thinks they want. Mindblowing action set pieces! Each bigger and more expensive than the last! Fair play to him, the strategy fairs well for the most part. The action is well-paced, tense and really quite engaging. I really found myself enjoying the film before the slowdown of the final few scenes. The climactic fight is good enough, resurrecting a VERY familiar Austrian-looking T-800 to dish out some pain to Connor before a convoluted, rushed final scene that is, to put it bluntly, a disappointment in every way.

Terminator Salvation is many, many things. On the whole, though, if you’re looking for a big, big action film with a nifty storyline and certainly more thrills than Star Trek, go with it and enjoy the best film of the summer so far.

****
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We have a Twitter!

Now I can take blogging into a whole new dimension, MICROBLOGGING! I have been following all those that mentioned 2008 favourites like In Bruges, The Wrestler and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I also searched and followed a few who liked The Happening, people like that very thin on the ground, though. I mean, who would publicly broadcast the fact they LIKED that film? Shameful. Follow @FPMBlog and make sure to include it in all your #followfriday's.

For those that don't use twitter, I apologise for how geeky he above paragraph was.
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The MTV Movie Awards

It’s that time of year again! After all the speculation, all the wondering, the MTV Movie Awards are finally here . Yay! Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host- oh. Oh, hang on a second. We need to wait for the fangirls to stop screaming in the audience because a split-second image of Robert Pattinson on the giant screen has worked them into a frenzy.

That’s pretty much what the MTV Movie Awards were about last night. Not ten minutes went by without Twilight winning an award, or somebody mentioning Twilight, or one of the actors getting some screentime... As well as that, half the audience genuinely seemed to consist of some horrible Twilight Youth Rally that screamed and cheered for every single second they had at their disposal - as long as it was about Twilight, of course.

Anyway, The MTV Movie Awards are silly, we know that. It’s a chance for the Hollywood Elite to relax and enjoy 2 hours of harmless entertainment in the guise of an awards show without consequence. Andy Samberg hosted this year, and definitely lived up to the gigantic reputation he’s made for himself in such a short period of time. He wasn’t afraid to poke fun at the celebrities in the crowd, and also wasn’t afraid to showcase himself in some mini-sketches throughout the night. He was hands-down the best and most consistent thing about the show. So much, in fact, one of his links to the next award consisted of him grinning into the camera and saying “Twilight!” just to get a reaction from the crowd. In that moment, I hailed him a hero as he finally said what everyone had been thinking.

The awards themselves were pretty bleak with Twilight and High School Musical 3 grabbing all four of the acting awards between them. Someone please tell me how, even in an MTV world, Zac Efron can act better than Robert Downey Jr. and Christian “I’m gonna kick your FUCKIN’ ASS” Bale? It certainly seemed to boggle his mind, too as he delivered possibly the most awkward and irritating speeches in awards acceptance history. Though, fair play to him he may have been put off by the image of a half-naked Sacha Baron Cohen teabagging an angry Eminem, an event that transpired seconds before he was announced the winner.

Looking though the winners now, there is not on single thing there I can justify as credible. It seems the MTV Movie Awards have now fully descended into an inside joke amongst the crowd and the producers alike. It certainly seems like cheap entertainment given Twilight won 5 awards in the night. Other notable funny moments included Bride Wars receiving two nominations (Come ON, MTV!) and host Samberg introducing an “exclusive sneak peak at New Moon *fangirls SCREAM* before cutting to himself dressed as a vampire running round a high-school being chased by a cheap teen werewolf. The classy medley of The Lonely Island’s songs also worked well, with Forest Whitaker capping the performance off with an undeniably well-sung chorus of “Dick in a Box”

I get it, the MTV Movie Awards shouldn’t be taken seriously. And for the record, I liked Twilight, it’s a decent film but what annoyed me was the fact that even the lowest of awards ceremonies are about recognising a selection of good films released that year, not just two or three. See you next year when we’ll be dissecting just how New Moon beat Transformers 2 to the big prizes of the night.
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