Angels and Demons

Guys, it's so boring to watch, let alone write about. Don't see it, let's leave it at that.

In the meantime, here's the awesome new trailer for Toy Story 3, out in just over a year.


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Review: The Mist

Alright, so I saw the Fog a while back. It was shit, wasn’t it? Pirates have no serious place in horror. 2 years ago, The Mist was released. Some people thought this was a sequel, and therefore steered clear. I mean, if you thought the FOG was shit, how about a film about MIST?

I gave it a go a year back and saw it again recently. The Mist is not your usual horror fare. Frank Darabont directs this adaptation of a Stephen King story, (Other works between the two include The Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile) In which a man (Thomas Jane) and his son (Nathan Gamble) travel to the store after a huge storm. While there, a man rushes in, warning people “there’s something in the mist” before the mist itself engulfs the store, trapping everyone inside. It’s unusual in its reliance on people, rather than monsters. In fact, it’s a while before any real supernatural threat shows up. And then after that, we wait even longer. Darabont is much more interested in the fear and selfishness that makes us human rather than a load of silly-looking CGI bug thingys flying about.

The cast is, well, backed up by a supporting crowd, although none stand out as well as Andre Braugher, playing David’s attorney next-door neighbour, who remains skeptical of the nature of the mist before venturing into it himself (his fate is left unclear, although I assume he wasn’t skeptical for very long after stepping out of the store). Marcia Gay Harden as Mrs. Carmody does well with such a horrible character, playing the undeniably insane Christian zealot, who views the horror within the mist as Judgment Day. Unfortunately, her bizarre theories initially pay off and she gathers followers, pulling the strings in what has to be one of the most distressing scenes of the year after she has discovered just what (or who) is responsible for the appearance of the creatures.

That’s not all, there’s further distress at the end, when we are treated to not only the most shocking and downbeat endings in recent cinema history, but also one of the best. I warned you.

If you’re going to buy or rent it, make sure you watch it in black-and-white, which is the way Darabont originally intended. The film does have a very nostalgic horror vibe and that’s reflected in the quality of the effects. B&W helps in both these ares, increasing the nostalgia and decreasing the likelihood you’ll get distracted by sub-hollywood CGI monsters.

The Mist is a rare breed. Smart, scary and above all quality. It blends the emotion and drama evoked from purely human relationships perfectly with the subplot of the monsters. Just brace yourself for the ending. It hits you hard.

****
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Review: Brick

You’ve probably heard of Brick. And Probably haven’t seen it. The first time I saw it was years back. And I only watched it then because Emilie De Ravin was in it (I’m not a pervert, just an overly motivated Lost fan). In 2006 I guess I must have been a little immature to process Brick because I thought it was weird as hell and, as a result, didn’t like it very much. Braving it again last night, I found out just how wrong I had been.

The film stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Brendan Frye. A quick search of the internet finds his performance in Brick has been compared more often than not to the actors of yesteryear. “Neo-noir” also seems to be a buzzword in reviews of Brick. So I won’t waste time by commenting on that, despite the fact it’s true. Anyway, Brendan is possibly one of the best characters in any film I’ve seen in a long time. It’s almost futile to sit here and write out what makes him such a powerful force onscreen, because I’d be sitting for hours trying to think what to say and then realise I couldn’t. It’s refreshing, Brendan is fearless and terrified at the same time, employing virtually every asset he has to find out just what happened to his now-deceased girlfriend (only not really), Emily (Emilie de Ravin).

The trailer for Brick gives a little too much away, so jump in cold and experience the results that way. It’s gripping and raw and there’s only the very briefest of points where the mind begins to wander. What sets Brick apart from most crime dramas is, initially of course, the setting. When was the last time you saw a good murder mystery set in a high school? That’s what I thought.

I usually get very uncomfortable with films like this. I find myself empathising and beginning to thank the lord I don’t exist in such a time and place. The whole world-of-drugs-gritty-underbelly thing really gets to me, although maybe I’m just a wimp. With Brick, however, I did want to be there. I wanted to be Brendan and experience the way he planned things out, the way things fell into place in his head and the way he tied up loose ends on instinct alone. The performances made it real and the result was something stunning.

Brick reminds you just how imperfect life is, and how awful people can be, regardless of age. It’s a powerful, thoughtful and, occasionally funny piece with much more of a plot than the first 30 minutes might suggest.

****
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Review: Coraline 3D

Those of you kind enough to have been reading when I was reviewing Monsters Vs. Aliens will know I was weary of 3D being as prominent as it seems to be becoming. I don't want to be marvelling at the visual in favour of a good story. Coraline was my first venture into 3D. I have seen it once in 2D as well.

Coraline's a weird story - though what else can you expect from the man who directed The Nightmare Before Christmas? No, it wasn't Tim Burton. You fool! Henrry Sellick is the man in question and the story begs for a director as willing to scare kids rather than just entertain them.

Coraline was originally written as a musical comedy. I'm glad that didn't work out as the creepy, dark nature of the film was something that really made it stand out from most of these moden disney-esque feelgood films. Coraline is an animated feature with quite a bit of substance and bite for a PG. Several of the people I went with on the second viewing remarked on how scared they were at certain points. The other family in the screen with us left before the end. Is this a good thing? I think had Coraline been released 20 years ago, no child would have batted an eyelid. Fairytales are scary! Ever read a proper fairytale for yourself? There's some fucked-up goings on in some of the less concise editions. Ever seen the forest scene in Snow White? It's mental! Coraline is nothing children can't handle and it's an insult to them to suggest otherwise.

Back to the 3D: It really does make a difference. Coraline is the first stop-motion to be filmed in 3D and the technique works perfectly with it. The fact is that Stop-Motion has a more homemade and classy feel to it and to present actual objects as 3D makes it all the more exciting and beautiful. One particular scene in which Coraline travels through her "other" garden is breathtaking. The landscapes shape themselves and everything feels so much more.. real - and, as a result, even creepier once things go tits-up. Without 3D, the film feels a little flatter and when the story slows midway through, there's less to keep your mind from wandering for that brief period.

Another annoyance was Coraline herself. Sure, she's brave but she's also a total bitch. Her initial scenes set her up as overly annoying and her adventures grate before there's any real peril. The best character in the film was by far her Other Father. He's the fun of the film with the only musical number in the film, and some of the best lines. Later on, his luck runs out and tragedy strikes. He was certainly the character I cared most for, despite certain revelations about his existence later on. The Cat also has some good dialogue, but other than that the one-dimensional characters throughout proved to be quite jarring to the film's overall effect.

My advice? See it, it's a wonderful tale if a little rough around the edges. However, it's everything a family fantasy should be. Colourful, occasionally scary and more often than not, fun. If you have no other options, go for 2D but be warned, you haven't seen it until you've donned the glasses.

Rating: ***(2D) ****(3D)
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NEW - Musings (Episode 1)

-I heroically staved off revision this week and once again accepted procrastination as my saviour. As a result, I managed to watch the whole of Season 4 of House within the last 4 days. A very brief check of my vital anatomy reveals me to be, indeed, male. However, the season finale “Wilson’s Heart” has won the honour of being the first EVER thing on TV to make me cry. It now joins The Wrestler, Planes, Trains and Automobiles and E.T. As the only fictional things to do so. Season 4 has the set-up of a new beginning. So if you’ve never seen House and can’t stomach 5 seasons of catching-up. I say start on 4, the best of the lot so far. It’s also the shortest of all the seasons thanks to the writer’s strike.

-Dear Harry Potter,
Just what the hell are you? What I expected to be the weakest of the Summer’s films (HP himself) has yielded an UNRELENTINGLY badass trailer. Kindly decide whether you want to be cheeky-kitsch or a fantasy epic. I will not stand for both so closely spliced in the future.

-I’ve heard from several sources today that Terminator: Salvation is an absolute dog. That’s my second surprise of the day (the first being the aforementioned awesomeness of the new Harry Potter trailer)

-I am in the midst of a cinema bonanza. I have/will have travelled to the church of film 3 times in 3 days by Friday. Expect reviews of Angels and Demons and, finally, Coraline.

-Muse's new album has a name! 3 years in the making, The Resistance will be out later this year.

-Who likes good films for a way cheap price and the company of me, Tom, for an evening? Everybody, that’s who. I will be attending a screening of Vicky Cristina Barcelona on the night of Monday, June 22 and EVERYBODY is invited.

If the above arguments weren’t enough to motivate you, Scarlett Johansson and Penélope Cruz make out in it. Seriously.

-My top films as of right now (subject to change on a daily basis) are:
Harvey (1950, James Stewart)
In Bruges (2008, Colin Farrell)
The Wrestler (2008, Mickey Rourke)
Ed Wood (1994, Johnny Depp)

-Those of you unlucky enough to live in the UK will be interested to know Pixar’s latest film, Up, due for release May 29th across the pond is expected to hit our shores not a week later, not 2 weeks later, not a MONTH later (which, for you non film geeks, is REALLY pushing it), but FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS LATER, October 16th. Whether this be due to 3D emerging as a prominent format remains to be understood.

Until next time.
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Review: The Old Man and the Seymour

I hate Sundays, I know you do, too. The excitement and potential of the weekend has fully dissipated and all that’s left stretching ahead of you is some average TV and your week’s schedule. Having fun revising? That’s what I thought.

Hey! Here’s an idea! Why not see a film? Don’t go to the cinema, the films are far too long and it costs way too much. You’ll never get enough work done in the day. What the modern “I hate Sundays” worker needs is a short, enjoyable, feel-good picture. Enter, The Old Man and the Seymour.

Now, I’ll tell you right off the bat. This film is 30 minutes long and is available freely on the internet. Not in a BAD way, they actually put it there. I know the concept of such a film can be off-putting so I’ll counter it by saying it’s good. Really quite good indeed. And funny, too.

The Old Man and the Seymour tells the story of Lewis Plunkett (Amir Blumenfeld). Lewis is 47, but due to a growth-hormone deficiency looks about 20. A short set-up in a supermarket tells you everything you need to know about the trouble he faces. Shortly thereafter, we’re introduced to Seymour (Streeter Seidell). Seymour’s dad has just died, and with mother already out of the picture, he moves in with Lewis to wait out his remaining months as an official minor.

The pair have such easy chemistry that the best scenes in the film by FAR are the ones between the two. My personal highlight was the dinner Seymour and Lewis have on the first night of Seymour’s new residency. What starts off as a pleasant meal quickly descends into such unbelievable chaos raises many-a-chuckle. The film continues strongly, before succumbing to lowbrow, easier stuff for the big finish which was a little disappointing. However, a strong supporting cast and enough real laughs help to ease the pain of the films larger failings.

Watch it, I say, if only to show your support for the two leads in what is their first out-and-out project. You have no excuse, follow the link below and settle down for 30 minutes. Both the film itself, and you guys, deserve it.

Rating: ***

You can watch The Old Man and the Seymour here - it even has an HD option.

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Review: Star Trek

The difference in style is due to the fact this review is being published in my village's magazine.


Before the beginning of 2009, if someone had mentioned Star Trek, the average person would have thought of dated CGI, unintentionally funny acting and, of course, those mythical, overly obsessed fans known as “Trekkies”. This is exactly what JJ Abrams would have thought of, too, before he signed on to direct Star Trek.

Those familiar with JJ Abrams will know he has a veritable Midas Touch when it comes to his creations. Nearly every project he has immersed himself in has been greeted warmly by critics and fans alike. Those unfamiliar with JJ won’t know he is the creator of such TV triumphs as Lost, Alias and Fringe as well as producing 2008’s monster movie/Blair Witch classic Cloverfield (****-On DVD). He also has tried his hand at directing before, taking on 2006’s Mission Impossible: III (****), arguably the most exciting of the trilogy.

Abrams has freely admitted to not being a big Star Trek fan, always citing himself as much more of a “Star Wars guy”. The fact, then, he was hired to direct the reboot to an all-but-dead franchise shows the new direction the enterprise was headed. Many people are afraid of Star Trek. The fact is that with its army of loyal fans, newcomers will feel alienated trying to get to grips with another chronological film. The original Star Trek series and its predecessor, The Next Generation spawned 10 films together before the brand was run into the ground by an all-too tired formula. This is why for a new Star Trek film to work, it had to gather new fans of today’s generation. Enter Abrams, a man with no romance for Star Trek, a man who would only make the film on the grounds it entertain, pleasing the hardcore fans was no longer a priority.

Star Trek is what’s known as a “reboot”. This is where a franchise with potential loses its way, and a new director, cast and story save the day by taking the franchise back to its origins. Recent examples of this can be seen from Chris Nolan’s take on Batman. a sequel to 1997’s disaster Batman And Robin was an all-too-horrific prospect and the series died. Come 2005 and along came Batman Begins. A darker, more adult take on the series.

Star Trek takes us back to the beginning, before the Enterprise ever took off. We are introduced to the iconic characters, played, on a whole, very well by the young cast, the biggest disappointment of any of these characters being Zoe Saldana as Uhura. That and SImon Pegg’s accent as Scottie. Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto play Kirk and Spock respectively, both lending their unique spins on the characters (to great effect) whilst simultaneously paying tribute to the iconic characteristics already perviously established. The story is functional enough and is sure to pull in new fans with its “less talk, more action” philosophy. Existing fans will be kept happy also, with Leonard Nimoy returning as Older Spock in a more prominent role than one might imagine.

As with any sci-fi, the impossibility at which the protagonists overcome the odds becomes little more than irritating, rather than inspirational. I’m not a huge fan of action for the sake of action and outside of the opening 40 minutes, that’s pretty much what to expect. Saying that, it’s a worthy beginning for a new take on the journey, one that can be enjoyed by people of all ages, and all degrees of Trek fandom.

Rating: ***
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Review: A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures

Yes, it is true what they say. Well, actually there is no saying for this situation, but if there was one I imagine it’d be something like “If you’re completely f***ing crazy, you’ll have completely f***ing crazy relationships.” No-one told this to Chris Waits, who, after 13 (to his initial count) failed relationships, decides to take a journey, and interview the women of his life he let down.

The interesting (or not) point about this film above all was that, despite his candid approach to filming, by this I mean turning up to people’s houses when he had been refused beforehand, interviewing people he’s never met on how to get an erection and later asking strangers on the streets of central London for sex. Despite these admittedly amusing moments, I found myself more interested in the setting. Much of the opening of the film plays out in Glasgow, my hometown. I noticed shops I go to, restaurants I like and places I walk. The film for me was more like Google Street View to begin with.

As the film progresses, it becomes more and more obvious Chris is actually, with the best will in the world, insane. Here, I lost empathy for a man I felt had been given a rough time, and was just a little... odd? Sorry, but this idea was wasted on him. With such a good idea for a documentary, it was the wrong person to back with it. However, a good idea’s a good idea and the pay-off is unexpected and a nice touch. Go with it, and you’ll enjoy it.

Rating: ***
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Review: X Men Origins: Wolverine

First up, let’s take a roll-call of of things that would have made this film crap:

20th Century Fox? Check
Annoyingly bad CGI? Check
Different character relationships from the original trilogy? Check
Hugh Jackman? Check
Deadpool WITHOUT the wisecracks? check

My god, the horror!


On to the real review. Despite the points made above, these suspect elements form only a mild crappy backdrop to the film. Set to tell the story of how James Logan became “Wolverine”, we travel rapidly from his childhood to teaming up with several other mutants in mere minutes. The pace doesn’t let up from then on. The philosophy of the writes seemed to be “Right, how many people can we kill and how many things can we blow up in 107 minutes?” Because of this, a weak, if fun, plot ambles along without really providing for the viewers who have reached puberty.

Crash, slice, roar, boom, crash, slice, roar, boom. Getting bored reading that? Imagine WATCHING it. That’s unfair, it’s actually quite fun. Wolverine doesn’t try to labour under the pretension it’s anything but a popcorn blockbuster for people with half a brain (Unlike X-Men III: The Last Stand which took itself WAY too seriously.) Ryan Reynolds is perfectly cast as pre-op Deadpool. Liev Schreiber also makes his mark as Victor Logan, later Sabretooth.

Just to clarify, Sabretooth was in X-Men, the first film. However, he was played by a different actor and was NEVER Wolverine’s brother. I hate it when Origin stories refuse to keep canon!

The Sabretooth issue seems small, especially when I say he was done VERY well in this film. Better than in the original film. But it’s just the start of the problems. Deadpool, for instance. Like I said, Ryan Reynolds was cast PERFECTLY as the younger Deadpool. His dark, witty charm working well with the overall tone of the film. What do they do with him in the climax? Sew his damn mouth up. However, a Deadpool: Origins film is in production now so this niggle gets downgraded. Along with assuring everyone everywhere that by 2015, there will be no superhero ANYWHERE that won’t have had a film spin-off.

I admire XMO:W (abbreviation: the next big thing. or, if you prefer, A:TNBT) as it doesn’t even TRY to steer clear of the cliches and pitfalls that would destroy a lesser film. With its lack of pretension and commitment to nothing but carnage, it provides a fun, easy watch to start the rolling in of the Summer Blockbuster season. Next stop: Star Trek.

Rating: ***
Sequels: Deadpool and Wolverine II in production, also Magneto: Origins.
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Review: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Contrary to the belief caused by the naive, in-the-moment nature of humans today, love and romance are two very separate and exclusive ideas. VCB, Woody Allen’s first worthwhile film in as long as someone my age can remember, is a testament to this. Moving on from Allen’s fixation on London (the setting for his last 3 features), the focus shifts to the balmy and undeniably sexy climate of Barcelona, the very mention of which from a Spanish mouth is enough to make any female with a pulse jump in to bed. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little.

VCB essentially centers around 2 characters, Vicky and Cristina, encapsulated by one entity, Barcelona, geddit? Vicky (Rebecca Hall) is the ever-classic Woody Allen character in the film. Forever skeptical of Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem)’s unabashed attempts to bed her and her friend, Cristina (Scarlett Johansson). The pair have travelled from America to Barcelona for the summer. As the opening narration indicates, the pair hold two very different attitudes towards love and romance. And this is where the difference between those two ideas comes in.

In a perfect world, romance precedes love. One leads to the other. VCB doesn’t tolerate the idea for one second. There’s romance EVERYWHERE in this film, but no love. At the same time, short, passionate romances can be stronger than love in any case. As the plot progresses, it’s clear how little chemistry those within the film would claim to be in love have with each other, as soon as Juan Antonio shares the screen with them. At the start of the film, Vicky is engaged and unashamedly attempts to humiliate Juan Antonio’s advances. However, things move on and, after a series of events far too delightful to divulge in writing, Vicky and Juan Antonio find themselves together for the evening. It’s here we discover maybe love isn’t as strong and as defined a notion as we perceive. All it takes is one smooth-talking Spanish artist to make the frostiest of women doubt their future in matrimony.

As much as I’d like to review the film further, it’s essential the unfolding, break-down and building of the relationships here are viewed as spontaneously as possible. I hate spoilers. Let it be known, however that the film’s wonder isn’t nearly reached until about two-thrids of the way in when Juan Antonio’s ex-wife, María Elena (Penélope Cruz) turns up, fresh from a suicide attempt.

The plot is unimportant next to this witty, charming and undeniably wise script. A testament to the fact even the proudest and most stubborn people in this world can learn to appreciate obscurity and individuality when they open their minds and appreciate. There’s also lessons to be learned from Juan Antonio himself. Anyone who saw No Country For Old Men will (hardly) recognise him as the almost-mute serial killer. Here, however his bohemian charm is firing on all cylinders as he takes plunges most people wouldn’t even dream of as he invites the two women to bed, having just met them:

Juan Antonio: I go to see a sculpture, that is very inspiring to me. A very beautiful sculpture. You will love it.

Vicky: Oh, right. you're asking us to fly to Oviedo and back.

Juan Antonio: Mmmm. No, we'll spend the weekend. I mean, I'll show you around the city, and we'll eat well. We'll drink good wine. We'll make love.

Vicky: Yeah, who exactly is going to make love?

Juan Antonio: Hopefully, the three of us.

Vicky: hmm, I don’t think so

Juan Antonio: Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain. This is a chance for something special.

VCB essentially reminds us that being human isn’t nearly normal as we’ve been led to think. Taken out of our element, human nature warps into something at first unnerving before we realise perhaps, maybe things were weird to begin with. Woody Allen hasn’t just returned to form here with this beautiful, funny, engaging film, he’s rediscovered the magic that made him a genius to begin with.

Rating: *****
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